How thankful I am that you made me see. No, I did not give in weakly to my persistence. It did not conquer me. I conquered a horrid stubbornness. I was not gaining anything but losing losing. "The Virginia you love." Is she any different from the Virginia that my relatives and friends know! Is she different from the Virginia my family sees? You love me all the more for conquering my mood? I conquered it only because I love you, John.
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That rehearsal! Well, it could have been worse. We'll show 'em we can do it! So! As a "deb" I make out quite well? Why shouldn't I? It would be a disgrace to my name if I could not hold such a place (?)! Oliver Farnsworth? Like him and his millions?* You called me John and I was not at home.
*Oliver Farnsworth is a character in the play Fourteen, published in Drama magazine in 1920. Virginia is probably playing the character of Elaine, the daughter of a wealthy socialite. Here is a link to the play: http://www.theatrehistory.com/plays/fourteen.html YOUR FORTUNE BY THE STARS-II: February 20-March 21 Pisces is your sign, Jupiter your planet. Astral colors, white, black, emerald green and pink. Material, practical, intellectual and nervous. Not stubborn. Theoretical. Have to be shown before they believe. Have good judgement. Are far-seeing and good readers of human nature. Quite busy all day. I have never seen cousin Flo(?) laugh so much in my life as she did this evening. Daddy and Brother met us. Even they do not seem so gentle as you, John. I have been thinking of you all day! Last night you seemed finer than ever. Yes, that day will come, when you will carry me out and never put me down.
Daddy says I have been cross every since you called yesterday. But tonight I feel happier than I have for weeks. So that is what you'll do someday. Pick me up in your arms and carry me out of the door never to put me down. And the piece you wrote! That moment in the corridor was one of the most important in your life too and several months later that kiss was the sweetest that ever touched a man's lips. A finer, stronger, gentler man has never kissed a girl. Again you drew me to you by force and kissed me over and over. Kisses to be stored with the first one. Yes you are man enough to support me.
Jan. 21-Feb. 20. (cont.) - Good natured, conventional, dignified, rarely quick tempered or passionate. Have high ideals. Successful in almost any trade or profession. Fair readers of character. Their truest friends or companions are those born under Libra, Sagittarius, and Scorpio. Generally very healthy. A repetition of last Saturday! This time it is a "sick friend." The world is full of sick friends and business. I am trying to sew the (?) on my dress. I cannot do it for thinking of you. I have dressed myself to look my best! Why? Perhaps I think I am spiting you. Am I jealous, angry, or just disappointed? I am letting you have me too easily. Wednesday evening I think I will go to the country.
I am going to bed now. God bless you, John. I will not go Wednesday. I hope you have spared at least one tiny moment to think of me. (Virginia has drawn a big question mark over the text of this entry.) "The Great Gatsby." I hate him. I despised the whole damn picture. I hate it! I hate it! Why is it that no one suits my mood but you, John. I didn't want to talk on my way home but Mother did. I tried my best not to hurt her. It is only when I am with you that I can be silent if I wish. You belong to me, you always will, you always will. No one else may have you. I knew that you love me, know that you do and always will. Mine, mine, mine. My heart cries, you are mine.
YOUR FORTUNE BY THE STARS - I: Jan. 21-Feb. 20 - Aquarius is your sign; Saturn is your star; Astral colors, blue, pink, and nile green. Highly emotional, practical in taste and of nervous temperament. Easily influenced, sensitive, tender-hearted, generally happy, easily impressed with form or ceremony. Love home and children and are generally satisfied. Resting before I go out and dreaming of last night. A stockholder! I am so proud of you! The sermon at the GTS (?) Annual Service at Holy Trinity was simple but impressive. How like a kite we humans are. We struggle to free ourselves but as soon as as we break from the power that holds us, we stop going upward only to fall to ruin, smashed.
Yes, you always seem to rule. Sometimes because you are physically stronger than I, sometimes because you have a stronger will. You put out your hand for mine and I yield! You insist that you walk the "chalk line" and you do. When you took both my hands and pulled me toward you, I tried to make you come to me but you won. Somehow I always feel safe with you. Why shouldn't I feel with a strong man that I love and who loves me too.
You heard the music? But not the words? What are words. They cannot express it. Silence is sometimes more expressive and often is golden. SELF-PRESERVATION: Nature's way of protecting animals is shown by an example like the cat, that makes its hair stand on end when attacked, so as to look bigger and more alarming to enemies. Mother and I have been sewing and chatting together. Thank Goodness and thank God (and I mean it reverently) that Mother likes you. You stepped into our home and all of my family liked you immediately. Somehow, my mind will wander to our walk Sunday evening and the bridge incidents. No, John, I will not want to go to the country tomorrow or ever again. Mother says that you will always rule. You are stronger willed than I and I believe it is true.
Two new dresses! Mother downtown today and bought the material for me. Great fun cutting them out tonight. Oh boy! Two at once.
NIGHT AIR: That night air is dangerous is a superstition. In fact, it is purer than day air because it contains less dirt, dust, and carbonic acid gas, to which the activity of all the persons, machines, fires and furnaces, contribute so much at day. |
ContextThis is the journal of Virginia Lee Scott, my grandmother, written when she was seventeen and first dating my grandfather, John Arnold Wilson. It's a dairy published by Media Drug Stores and includes space for two entries per day, with facts about the era printed at the bottom, which I have included in italics. Following, 1928, is the journal of John Arnold Wilson, my grandfather, at age nineteen and in love with my grandmother, followed by my grandmother's journal in 1931. Archives
April 2018
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