The end of a perfect day. I have enjoyed myself all day - luncheon, my trip to the Navy Yard dinner, the evening with Gin, Bob, John until we came home with Alice and Fred. What was the matter, John? Was it what Daddy said, was it what I said about taking Bob's dare? Why did you kiss me when I got you the drink of water? Force of habit? You did not wish me a pleasant vacation at the shore until Fred came out and why then?, just to be polite? Have I got to go away with the memory of an evening like this? John, if you could know how hurt I am I wonder if you would care? Why return the tokens by Alice! That hurt more than ever! There will be nobody else filling my place with you? Perhaps I have no place with you.
Bought a new hat today. Through all generations a new "bonnet" has always been a pride to a lady - and I am proud of mind. Next - will "he" like it? Everybody asks that. I'm not a bit different or original but just like girls have been for centuries.
PHASES OFTEN MET - XIX: terra firma (Lat.) - solid ground as distinguished from water. tete-a-tete (Fr.) - a conversation between two parties. vice-versa - turned around, the opposite. rendez-vous (Fr.) - a meeting place which is rather private - an engagement.
Two whole weeks vacation! How I did enjoy that fortune telling. John - a cave man and practicing on me, too. Alice and Fred may have thought so but only I hear the whispered words close at my ear and felt the stolen kisses on my shoulder. But I could not loosen myself from your clasp. If I really had wanted to? Alice says I could but I doubt it. You will never let me get away! The cards also say that you are the most gentle and that you have the most and best excuses!!!! You are going to take me to Europe even though I'm going to marry Paul and you will marry Thelma. But I will be the wealthiest, look the best in a bathing suit, have the prettiest legs and the most limpid eyes. Fred is double crossing you! Watch your step!!! Alice loves you better than Fred so she must be the double crossing one! But who is Thelma? And what are cards?
The day is cold, dark, and drizzling. If it were not for my mother and you, life would not be worth living. Lying on my bed, crying, I saw your smiling face before me kissing away my tears; I put out my hand to touch you - you were not there! Gone, gone - oh John, come to me, I want you! I need you. I am lonely without you. Only death can keep you from me.
PHRASES OFTEN MET - XVIII: sub rosa - privately, secretly. summum bonum (Lat.) - the highest good, the thing most desirable. tout ensemble (Fr.) - all together, general effect. table d'hote (Fr.) - the table of the house, regular meal in full. a la cart (Fr.) - by the card, chosen at random.
The movie was good - so was mother's coconut layer cake - but the moments afterward. The sweetness of it all - the perfect happiness. Sometimes I think it is too perfect to last. "Why did I do it?" You wish it had slipped? Your desire was not false love - you looked me "straight in the eyes" when you said it. Five years from now - "Yes." It was hard to say. It would have sounded gross on other lips than mine because "I am I," "The Girl You Love." If I would say it to anyone else you would shoot me and yourself, both. If I did not have eyes? My eyes are what they are because "you are you." I live for you. Oh - so happy - you now smiling down into my face - your gentle fingers stroking back my hair, tilting my chin. Biting my fingers, my ears. Cannibal! "No, just lover." And such a perfect one, too. I could never have gone to sleep against that pillow, with you beside me, holding me there. All right I will forget the Wednesday you were silent, did not touch my arm, and would not come in.
The first time for a long, long while Lester came down from the country. In a way, I was glad to see you but I can't bear for you to touch me. I am glad I could help mother with dinner. I would have done most anything to keep from being alone with you. Mrs. Thompson's sister says that I will marry young. She has always thought so. "I give you two years." Oh, if she could know. I am so glad you called, John - it brightened an otherwise weather beaten evening. In washing my hands - my ring slipped almost off. I pushed it back on and pressed it to my lips. The soap was not very palatable.
PHRASES OFTEN MET - XVII: savoir vivre (Fr.) - knowledge of how to live, breeding, and manners. sine qua non (Lat.) an indispensable condition - a thing absolutely indispensable. soiree (Fr.) - an evening party. Sotto voce - in an undertone. subpoena (Lat.) - under penalty, summons to attend court as a witness.
We have certainly been the butt of the evening, haven't we John. Oh well, who cares? Fred and Alice may make fun of us and our "drink of water" - but just wait! After you left I looked for the "dog star" but could not find it. I can find it only when you are with me. Will our wedding night be like "that"? Oh so different, John. We will be so happy.
You called and I was miles away. What a queer sensation when I realized how fast I was riding away from you. And when we arrived Lester kissed me again. I wish he would not. My life belongs to John. Oh John, twice I have broken my promise to you and I have said that a promise is a promise. Neither time was my fault - only because I was physically weaker than Bill and Lester. Oh, how can I claim yours? Bu you are strong! Through long hours "on the road" and every second contained, a loving thought of you and memories of evenings - like Saturday.
PHRASES OFTEN MET - XCI: requiescat in pace (r.i.p.) (Lat.) - Rest in Peace. resume (Fr.) - abstract or summary. roue (Fr.) - profligate libertine. R.S.V.P. (Fr.) - Respondez s'il vous plait - answer if you please. sans (Fr.) - without. sans souci (Fr.) - without care. savoir (Fr.) - learning, scholarship. savoir-faire (Fr.) - knowledge of how always to act, management, wits.
Like every girl, I have hoped and dreamed and imagined - but never could I realize (nor could anyone - possible realize) what love really means until she has found it. What a lack it must be in any girl's life to be without a sweetheart - without someone to cuddle her, to hold her close and smother her with kisses, sweet; someone in whom she can confide her hopes, her dreams, someone to love - a pal and a buddy. John, now that I have found you I wonder how I lived without you - but then I lived on hope. If every I should lose you, there would be nothing in my life for which to live.
I am so glad you came tonight. "Your eyes have swept my heart clean again." "Every man has two souls; one for the world and one for the woman he loves." Saturday was one of the sweetest evenings we have ever had together. I was so perfectly at ease close in your arms, so happy and contented. I dreamed of it all day yesterday and all day today. One night of love with my perfect Yankee lover. And Fred knows that you have been draving, John.
PHRASES OFTEN MET - XV: pro rata (Lat.) - proportionately. pro rege et patria (Lat.) - for king and country. pro tem (Lat.) - for the time being. q.e.d. - which was to be proved. quasi - apparently, in a manner. raison d'etre (Fr.) - reason of its being or existence.
This is the journal of Virginia Lee Scott, my grandmother, written when she was seventeen and first dating my grandfather, John Arnold Wilson. It's a dairy published by Media Drug Stores and includes space for two entries per day, with facts about the era printed at the bottom, which I have included in italics. Following, 1928, is the journal of John Arnold Wilson, my grandfather, at age nineteen and in love with my grandmother, followed by my grandmother's journal in 1931.