After a long sleepless night, a day of nervous agony I am cold and trembling this very minute. Through my own selfish pride, I have lost you! For a few moments gratification of my vanity I have wrecked my whole life. Yesterday I spoiled an evening for at least three of us - thinking I should suffer less if you did not come - but through my selfishness - Oh I wonder if it has mattered to you? Oh you cannot care how, after seeing me display such a disposition. The Virginia you loved, where is she now? - She is gone forever.
Gone forever. Oh God, my God, our God, what have I done? Lost! Lost! The only thing that made my life worth living. Is it too late, is it too late to right my wrong? Am I losing my mind? Oh why, why did I go after you at the movies. You were so cold to me. I don't blame you. My pride got the best of me when you called but I beat my pride in the end! One caused me as much agony as the other. Do you think you should have done it? "All is fair in love and war!" Which is this?
VALUE OF AN EDUCATION - VI: Out of 1,000,000 adults who had received a college education, 5,758 had received distinction in Business, Science, and the Arts. This proves that the chances of attaining distinction for the college man or woman are 1 in 173, a most remarkable opportunity.
Old, tired, hungry and unloved! That's the way I came home from work today. What could be worse? Again! He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he -
You said "yes," but did you really want to kiss me! I want to hate you. I do. But would I be willing to give you up forever? Perhaps I will have to!
What a fool I am! Writing this through tears while you are at a smoker!* I must give you up for the good of both of us. We cannot keep this up forever - a few weeks of absolute perfect happiness and then days like this and nights like last night - restless sleep and dreaming of you. The best things in life are not free. How dearly we pay for a game of love.
*Dictionary.com: an informal gathering, especially of men, for entertainment,discussion, or the like.
One bitter kiss! Asked for; and giving unwillingly.
What a contrast to last Wednesday. A turn of the key and the fired died out.
After burning all evening - out easily it was extinguished - And so the love that has been burning in our hearts - can be smothered - but the hearts that are left will be scarred and of no good use.
VALUE OF AN EDUCATION-V: Out of a study of 2,000,000 adults having a High School education, 1,245 had distinguished themselves in Business, Science, and the Arts, or in this group the chances of obtaining distinction are 1 in 1,606.
I wonder if you came around tonight to get that book! I feel so happy tonight. Oh so glad you couldn't find a book in the library. I am going to go to bed now and dream that you are there in my arms.
You would give five years of your life to read every word of this diary? Someday when you have given all of your life to me I will let you read every word of it. All day I have dreamed of everything we said last evening. "Nobody near us, to hear us or see us, no friends or relations - " "A girl for you, a boy for me."* When we are fifty - ??? When we are twenty-five??? - When we are twenty-three - The ring will turn?
You often have imaginary conversations with me - far into the future - when we are 50, 25, and 23? But no more so than I, dear.
Mr. Taggert, your compliment meant more to me than did the actual raise in salary! I have earned and deserved it, you said.
*from the song Tea for Two.
VALUE OF AN EDUCATION-IV: Out of a study of 33,000,000 adults who had received a common school education, 808 were found to have distinguished themselves in Business, Science, and the Arts. This indicates that the chances of attaining distinction for those with only a common school education are 1 in 40,841.
After five years the ring will turn around. Every day I seem to love you more until now I wonder how I can ever love you more than I do.
John writes below: I love you Virginia. John.
Across the page, Virginia has outlined her hand, with her ring.
Someday, sweetheart, we will dream not only of each other but with eachother - We will fall off to sleep in eachother's arms. And how much you will have to tell me! Something else - the principle reason why you are "broke" so much and so often. It will not profit either of us materially. It is my fault but I should be glad. You will not tell me now because you are afraid it will bother me.
VALUE OF AN EDUCATION - III: From a study of 5,000,000 men who had received no schooling, it was found that only 31 men had distinguished themselves in Business, Science, and the Arts. This indicated that without any schooling, the chances of success are 1 in 161,290.
Will I take you to the movies? Yes. And after that? - To the Southern Tea Room! And after that? I will bring you home! An after that? - What do you want after that? You are working hard tonight while I sit here, lonely, reading an essay on the Romance of Ethics. "The best life is not one that conforms to a rule, but one that is drawn toward an unseen goal by an unconquerable desire." I wonder if you are right, Samuel McChord Crothers?*
*An American Unitarian minister and popular essayist. He will die the following month.
Everyone seemed satisfied with this evening but me. Pete is crazy about Harriet and Walt about Betty. Bert is supposedly wild about me. But I - If I did not love John, I might have enjoyed our "triple date" far more but my heart and thoughts were with "the one I love." After an evening like last night the company of others is more of a nuisance than a pleasure. I wore the neck of my dress turned up high with "that lucky pin" (to use your words) resting at my throat and holding it closed to all but you and covering your written word. "John's."
VALUE OF AN EDUCATION - II: Statistics covering experience of 100 business houses over a period of three or four years show that about 90 per cent of the college men were successful in rising to large salaries and responsible positions as compared with 25 per cent of non college men.
This is the journal of Virginia Lee Scott, my grandmother, written when she was seventeen and first dating my grandfather, John Arnold Wilson. It's a dairy published by Media Drug Stores and includes space for two entries per day, with facts about the era printed at the bottom, which I have included in italics. Following, 1928, is the journal of John Arnold Wilson, my grandfather, at age nineteen and in love with my grandmother, followed by my grandmother's journal in 1931.