What a peculiar soul I've turned out to be. Tuesday night I was bewildered. Wednesday and Thursday I felt sure that I wanted to say yes but that money alone kept me from it.
Tonight he has come again and been very sweet and gentle - almost humble - and I don't want him. How does one account for that?
Harriet and Jim were here all evening - which gave us a very few minutes alone.
Last winter I was bored and restless. I wanted more attention from John. I tried, unsuccessfully, several times to give him up. Finally he made the break. My pride was hurt. I wanted to win him back which I have done - and so now the game is over. Now that I can have him whenever I will I find that I don't want him.