Today, let go of some of your tightness. Enjoy beauty. Play. Love. Surprises. Friendship. Let go of some of the seriousness you have about yourself.
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook says that the Sioux have a saying: "The first thing that people say after their death is 'Why was I so serious?'"
Today, let go of some of your tightness. Enjoy beauty. Play. Love. Surprises. Friendship. Let go of some of the seriousness you have about yourself.
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The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook points out the we are often governed by internal scripts or mistaken beliefs that limit us. Here are a few I identified with:
My feelings and needs are unimportant. I should always be pleasant and nice, no matter how I feel. If I worry enough, this problem will get better. I should always be very generous and unselfish. I should never be tired or fatigued. I should always be competent. The book recommends identifying, testing, and challenging these beliefs that make us anxious and hold us back from our fullness. On the spiritual side, I will add that Love itself is a power in consciousness helping us to see clearly and giving us the courage and power to claim freedom. Love is a much more powerful cause than our human histories or patterns in our thinking. To me, vanity is not just being overly concerned with your appearance or reputation. Vanity is the human ego's tendency to see itself as the center. Even in its effort to do and be good, vanity has a warped sense of its own importance or the degree of other people's attention. Vanity often rates its value based on a limited understanding of accomplishment or other's opinion.
If your efforts are "in vain," they are ineffectual. Seeing yourself as the center and your worth as based on your human efforts and other people's opinions is ineffectual. Today, know that you are indeed Love's beloved, Love's center. At the same time, so is everyone else. We are all expressing Love, Spirit, Creativity, Intelligence, Healing in our own unique ways. Trust the way Love works through you, even if you can't see the full picture. Trust the way Love is working in other people's lives, even if you can't see their full picture. Give, but also accept gifts. Let others give to you their skills, their healing wisdom. Other people's skills and wisdom do not diminish yours, but are a gift to you. Love wants us to feel "the peace that passes all understanding."
One obstacle to feeling this peace is perfectionism, disguised in "shoulds." Here are a few key ones, listed in the The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook: "I should always be pleasing and cheerful to others, despite my feelings. I should be totally competent. I should be the perfect spouse, parent, lover, friend, worker, student . . . I should be totally self-reliant. I should never get tired or sick. I should never feel negative emotions like anger or jealousy. I should have achievements . . . I should never be afraid. Today, loosen up your constricting shoulds. Feel yourself exhale. In that space is more room to feel Love's unconditional appreciation of you. More room for creativity and intuition and surprise and good humor and proper perspective. The book of Romans says, "The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit." Ezekiel says "I will put my spirit within you."
Today, know that you are not doing your work alone. Spirit is in you, keeping you company, giving you energy and clarity and companionship, reminding you of your best and true nature. Trust and acknowledge that this same Sprit is also inside those around you, communicating and companioning. Having a schedule for our days can be an excellent tool for accomplishing our goals and living a life in line with our values, but like most human strategies can have a shadow side.
For those of us who are easily anxious or perfectionists, scheduling can give us the illusion that we are in control of our lives - but the slightest unexpected disruption to the plan and we feel fearful and self-critical, on the edge of chaos and failure. We can also fill our schedule with the demanding tasks of day-to-day living and neglect to include those items that move us forward on our deepest heart-values and dreams and bring us genuine joy. At the end of a day, we might feel accomplished because we have checked many items off the list, but are actually neglecting important areas. We forget to make room for relationships, rest, reflection, movement, play, and creativity. Or we avoid important obligations or difficult steps toward a long term goal. We don't admit to ourselves that we might have to take items off our list or disappoint others in order to make space for our deeper values. Taking time to be mindful of how we use our time and direct our attention is very important. But we can be driven by the smaller parts of ourselves. So make sure you invite Spirit, Love, who has an expansive sense of inclusiveness and creativity and possibility, who sometimes surprises, to join you while you plan your days. Today, in prayer and reflection time, I received two, seemingly contradictory messages.
One. Let go of worrying so much about other people. Let go of opinions and judgments. Instead of believing your insights into others are truth, say to yourself, "I am having the thought that . . . " Know that other people are responsible for caring for themselves and trust them to do that. Instead, take responsibility for yourself. Sometimes our focus on others is our mind's way of distracting ourselves from that which needs attention in our own lives. Two. From Ezekiel, "Bind up the brokenhearted." How do we do both these things? Have less judgment and fewer opinions and more of a sense of the presence of unconditional Love holding us all. When confronted with others' suffering or longing, feel the strength and steadiness and inclusivity of Love. When we can feel the truth of this for ourselves and others, we are led to practical steps and states of mind and heart that make a real difference. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook's advice for working through phobias by exposure applies to any kind of effort to make positive change:
"The goals is not to see how fast you can overcome the problem; pressuring yourself to make great strides quickly is generally not a good idea." "It's important to consistently reward yourself for small successes." "Practice methodically and regularly - rather than hurrying or pressuring yourself." "Expect and know how to handle setbacks . . . learn to accept brief setbacks when they occur. don't allow yourself to get discouraged and disheartened. Just resume . . . " The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook advises those suffering from a panic attack to ask "What is the most supportive thing I could do for myself right now?"
Today, in the midst of any kind of stress, or just in a moment of pause or indecision, ask yourself the same question: "What is the most supportive thing I can do for myself right now?" Sometimes it can be difficult to discern what support we most need: should I push myself or rest, address an issue or gracefully let go? If you are confused, imagine you are giving advice to a dear friend, a child, a beloved relative in your situation. What does support look like? That exercise can jar us from our own habitual thinking, which sometimes separates us from our intuitive knowledge about what we most need. Today, God is calling you honey, welcoming you home with open arms, loving you just as you are. Rest in that hug.
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AuthorTarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com. Archives
September 2020
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