At the same time, I need to treat myself with kindness and respect - give myself breaks from work, set realistic timelines, ask for help, have realistic standards, and have a lightness around my goals.
I realized recently that much of my suffering around life's obligations comes not from the obligations themselves, but from my resistance to them. The stack of papers I need to grade, the house that needs to be cleaned, the taxes that need to be finished. I have to exert extra energy to push through resistance. What if I let go of resistance and accepted the requirements of my life without feeling tired-or-overwhelmed-in-advance or thinking I should have a different kind of life? I can let go of unnecessary internal drama.
At the same time, I need to treat myself with kindness and respect - give myself breaks from work, set realistic timelines, ask for help, have realistic standards, and have a lightness around my goals.
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Today, pause and feel the presence of Love with you: the Love who is Order and Wisdom and Insight and Affection and Truth. This Love is an active reality, with you now, embracing you--and more powerful, more true than beliefs, fears, habits, assumptions. Feel this Love's embracing, revealing stillness, and power in the here and now. Trust it.
More from Tara Brach's new book Radical Compassion:
"Presence has three primary characteristics: wakefulness, openness, and tenderness or love . . . We've all touched presence. We've resting in presence in the moments before sleep when we become still and relaxed, listening to the sound of the rain on the roof. There's a background of presence when we gaze in wonder at a star-filled sky. We open to presence in gratitude for someone's unexpected kindness. We may never forget the presence we feel as we witness a birth or a death. Past and future recede, thoughts quiet, and we're aware of being right here, right now." From Buddhist teacher Tara Brach's newest book Radical Compassion:
"For many years 'the trance of unworthiness' kept me feeling deficient as a friend and daughter, parent and partner. It fueled doubt about my capacity as a therapist and teacher. And when I faced severe physical illness, it initially triggered self-blame: 'What did I do wrong to get so sick?' Yet this very suffering - feeling deficient and disconnected - has been my most fertile ground for waking up. It has led me to a spiritual path and practices that I cherish. And when I get stuck in painful emotions, it brings me a repeating realizing, an insight that has profoundly changed my life: I have to love myself into healing. The only path that can carry me home is the path of self-compassion. It doesn't matter if I'm caught in anger, fear of failing at something important, a sense of self-doubt, or loneliness. And it doesn't matter if I am facing yet again challenges to physical mobility and well-being. The healing medicine always has some flavor of care, compassion, or forgiveness. On some level, I'm telling myself, 'Please, be kind.'" Today, notice the ways that Spirit moves through unexpected pathways. A particularly well-done movie. A piece of software that brilliantly solves a problem. A delicious meal. A hug when you needed it. A laugh with friends. Music that feels as if it unfreezes something inside you. A splash of color that makes you feel more alive. A glimpse of a wild animal. A child holding your hand, a dog nuzzling your hand.
Even if we don't have much of a religious background, culturally, we have been educated to have a narrow sense of what is holy, good, and important. We make assumptions about where we can and can't find God. We unconsciously put boundaries and limits. Spirit is much bigger and more active than we imagined. Today, know that the only true, effective success or activity comes through Spirit moving and knowing and being. Spirit is the source of inspiration. Spirit is the source of energy. Spirit is the source of intuition. Spirit is the source of strength. Spirit is the source of clarity and knowing. Spirit is a powerful wave or a deep soaking liquid. It's doing its own work - and you are along for the ride.
Today, know that it isn't your personal effort and will and energy and strength that accomplishes. You can yield to and rest in Spirit's movement. Sometimes this translates into trusting you can rest. Sometimes this translates into trusting that Spirit moves through other people, too, and you are not responsible for everything. Sometimes this translates into trusting that you can do more than you thought, without harmful consequences, because Spirit's energy moves through you. Today, know that fears tend to be loosened and eased in response to kindness and patience, to tenderness, to respect, to reassurance, to a sense of safety.
I have a history of feeling ashamed of my fears, criticizing myself for them, dismissing or ignoring them, or pushing through them with aggressive will - basically bludgeoning them. Although this approach can make it seem as if we have overcome our fears, they often just go underground to protect themselves. Sometimes, we do learn, through this aggressive approach, that we are more powerful than a fear, or can push through it, but then sometimes our fears just morph, get more subtle, limit us in more hidden ways. Respecting and being kind to our fears does not mean we believe our fears' irrational thinking or accommodate their sometime convoluted solutions or self-justifications. It does not mean we freeze or retreat or defend. It does mean we listen, as we would to a child who was scared. It means that we comfort. It means that we don't blame or judge. We are patient. We allow our fears to come out from hiding so we can see, not just the fear, but the fear under the fear. We hold with acceptance and kindness. And we can do this for others, too. |
AuthorTarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com. Archives
September 2020
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