I will be on vacation for the next three weeks and may not always have access to internet or morning time. I'll be back with the regular posts in July. I really appreciate you all!
Love, the divine consciousness, knows. It is knowing through you. Its knowing is you.
Thinking, the busy work on the brain that seems to be happening inside our head, is a helpful tool, but not wise enough to be in charge. Let Love's knowing be the boss; let thinking be the employee.
How does this translate? Notice if your mind is racing, buzzing, or worried - because then it is falsely believing it is in charge. Pause. Know that Love is knowing right now. You can slow down. Trust more. Listen. Be an employee.
Angela Watson, in her new book for teachers Fewer Things Better, suggests we regularly ask ourselves this question (attributed to Tim Ferris) as we are confronted with the many tasks and choices of the day: "What would it look like if it were easy?"
"This question gives me some distance from the problem and helps me think about how another person might approach the task, or the advice I'd give to someone else in my situation . . . Typically, the easy, simple way means to stop overthinking and overcomplicating it, and take action."
She also asks herself, "Can I just . . . " which gives her one simple step she can do today instead of trying to tackle everything at once to reach a goal or an often unrealistic standard.
I think most of us, even as adults, need the tender care of a mother and father - and need to be willing to give this to ourselves. Even if we haven't had the human experience of strong mothering and fathering, we actually know what it is: care, appreciation, respect, honesty, celebration, taking care of physical and emotional needs, wisdom, forgiveness, encouragement, perspective. There is nothing more important that practicing being an excellent parent to ourselves. Our Divine Parent, Love, gives us the insight, ability, grace, and persistence to do this.
You don't need a glamorous spiritual insight or a new, perfect program or an expert to make the changes you need to make. Sometimes, small, steady, pedestrian changes made in increments over a long period of time will do the trick. Sometimes this is what takes the most courage. Don't be afraid of un-glamorous, steady, daily efforts to make the changes you know are good for you.
Reminders from The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook:
"Making downtime requires giving up our addictions to work, outer achievement, and success, as well as letting go of perfectionism."
"Long-term ideals and life goals tend to remain just that for most people - postponed until the distant future - unless you take time to do something toward achieving them on a step-by-step basis in the present."
We must make time for rest and renewal and deep thinking, living, and feeling. The only way to do that is to let go of some of what we have asked of ourselves.
At the same time, we often avoid taking steps on those dreams and values that are most important to us - often because we have no externally imposed deadline and are only accountable to ourselves. Do prioritize and take action (small steps every day will get you there) on what is dearest to you.
Your suffering is not your fault. We are shaped by our biology, upbringing, and pervasive messages of our culture. Let go of shame about your suffering, about what you might see as your weaknesses, mistakes, and imperfections. You didn't choose your suffering. You don't deserve your suffering. Let go of blame of yourself.
Also, let go of blame of others, who also have not chosen their weaknesses and limitations.
But your suffering is your responsibility. Treat yourself with dignity and care. Try again and again and then again to live a live in tune with your values. Commit to your incremental changes. Ask for help. Lean on positive community.
Today, know that you can pause, celebrate, feel calm and joy and a sense of accomplishment. You don't have to solve all your problems before you can be grateful and enjoy. Today, give herself time and space to just be and appreciate, without judgement or unnecessary demands.
Tarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com.