We need to do the same with our thoughts. Which thoughts are respectful? Believe in us? Make us feel calm and capable, accepted and forgiven? Do the same kind of sorting with your thoughts that you do with your friends. Give more space to the healthy, sustaining ones.
Think about your friends and acquaintances. Some make you feel agitated, worried. Some make you feel less than. The best make you feel accepted, safe, capable, resilient, and respected. Loved. We naturally want to cultivate those healthy, sustaining relationships and minimize the others.
We need to do the same with our thoughts. Which thoughts are respectful? Believe in us? Make us feel calm and capable, accepted and forgiven? Do the same kind of sorting with your thoughts that you do with your friends. Give more space to the healthy, sustaining ones.
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Sometimes I get caught in the belief that my purpose in life is to accomplish the tasks on my list, and I am destined to fall short in my quantity, quality, and my attitude-in-the-process.
Our true purpose is to be God's qualities and activity expressed in the world. This does not need to take a lot of effort because we are created to do this. It is our nature, our identity, our natural impulse. Our true work is to feel Love's love shining in us and through us. Today, treat your body with respect.
Treat your good intentions with respect. Talk to yourself with respect. Talk about yourself with respect. Think of the person in your life who most honored what was good in you, who saw your potential, who reflected back to you a version of yourself that you could respect. See yourself through those eyes. Feel Love supporting you in your efforts to treat and speak to yourself with dignity. How good of you to try so hard! To be a good person, to be kind, to be organized, to be responsible, to be productive, to improve. That is important, noble work.
Today's message, though, is to try less and yield more. Less human effort, more yielding to the Love that is right here, right now, speaking to you, holding you, providing your deepest needs. This does not necessarily mean changing your actions, but changing the quality of your thought. Loosen that sense of eager push and yield to a restful appreciation. Loosen that sense that you need to control yourself or others or time or your environment and yield to Love's activity and timing and care for all. Love's plans might be different from your assumptions. Have you ever been excited to give someone a generous gift or do a big kindness for them, only to be met with these responses:
The person doesn't feel worthy so keeps apologizing and seems ashamed by your offering. They try to give back a gift of equal or increased value. The person defines themselves as someone who gives to others and so doesn't feel comfortable receiving and acts awkward and resistant. The person is so caught up in their fears and worries, they hardly notice what you have done for them. The person is fearful and desperate, so tries to convince you to give them more. Those responses take all the delight out of giving. Do we respond any of these ways when Love is pouring gifts on us? Are we so fearful, we don't see? Do we feel small and unworthy of accepting Love's generosities? Do we push them away? Today, notice gifts- all the ways you are being supported. Say thank you! Know that you don't have to earn these generosities. You can accept them just because you are beloved. (This is not to say, of course, that we don't need to be wise givers and receivers. Sometimes, often without the giver realizing it, offerings can be patronizing, inappropriate, or a power moves They can carry demands or be culturally insensitive. But, today, I wanted to focus on our own willingness to accept the goodness Life offers.) Many of us torture ourselves with "shoulds": I should look a certain way, behave a certain way, work a certain way, interact a certain way, organize my life a certain way, feel a certain way.
We need breaks from those demanding, discouraging shoulds. One of my favorite forms of prayer is letting go of all the shoulds, all the self-criticisms and plans for the day, and just spending a few moments with Love. Not asking for anything. Or complaining. Or worshipping in any formal way. Just spending time together, with a sense of mutual appreciation. A rest. A hug. Joy in each other. The kind of time we most need to give children - time without agenda. Of course, we have areas in which we need adjustment, but the relentless "shoulds" often discourage us, exhaust us, and, if unexamined, actually send us in directions counter to our values - responding to "shoulds" that are adopted from other people, or our culture, and don't reflect our deepest values. Spending time with Love without agenda supports our sense of joy and comfort and has the long term result of helping us see more clearly. Spirit demands of us that we rest. In rest, we demonstrate that we understand that we aren't in control of the universe. Our egos soften. When we break from trying so hard and rushing about, we make space for creativity, connection, and insight. Rest is a spiritual necessity. Rest doesn't have to mean doing nothing, but it does mean taking a break from striving and accomplishing. Rest for you might be cooking for fun, drawing, journaling, yoga, walking, reading, puttering, planting, watching an amazing show - if done for enjoyment and play and renewal.
The first step is to recognize that we need rest. Then to take rest. Then to work on the quality of that rest. Notice which activities, during rest time, actually make you feel renewed and which make you feel drained or fragmented. The Bible tells the story of how some fisherman became disciples of Jesus. They has been fishing all night and caught nothing. The next day, Jesus asks to stand in one of their boats so he can preach to the crowds on the shore. Afterward, he tells them to "launch out into the deep, and let down your nets." They explain that there are no fish. Nevertheless, they do as they are told and catch so many they have to call over other boats to help them with their haul.
Notice that the fisherman were skilled at their jobs and had been doing the work for years. They did not change their technique. What was the difference? The inspiration, the sense of the abundance of Spirit, maybe the sense of being connected to something larger than themselves, bigger than their expertise or the vagaries of chance, weather, etc. Sometimes when we are feeling or fearing that we are ineffective in our work, we think we most need better training, a new technique, more effort, better luck or connections, or maybe a new field. Maybe what we most need is actually a fuller sense of Spirit present, moving, smoothing, bringing to abundance, supporting and providing for everyone with a sense of fullness, effectiveness, and meaning. Maybe less trying, more feeling the presence of Love. Today, sense that you are standing on stable, spiritual ground. You are held there, solid and secure. When you feel buffeted by world news, others' worries or suffering, or your own fears or moods, sense that spiritual ground underneath you. Feel how solid it is. How stable. Feel how you can rest and hold yourself steady there, on a firm foundation.
Sometimes, this is my spiritual message: life is short, wake up, seize the moment, face what needs to be faced.
Today, my message is the flip slide. Our spiritual identities are eternal. God, Love, lives outside of time. Therefore, we have eternity to learn, discover, grow in wisdom and understanding. This is not an excuse to drift through life half-asleep, but it does gives us deep patience and trust, a sense of spaciousness and perspective. It lowers our fear and sense of urgency. Knowing that others also have an eternity gives us more patience and trust in their journeys. |
AuthorTarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com. Archives
September 2020
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