As I prayed and meditated on how to best be a support, I realized that being mesmerized by the shocking sadness of the events, by the story, was not a help. I need to lower the drama and be attuned to the needs of each moment. This moment. This next moment. Keep drama down and kindness up.
Lowering the drama-factor also helps keeps overwhelming emotions in proper proportion so that we don't shut down or unintentionally burden those who are suffering with our own needs. In moments of crisis, we want so much to be useful, to be helpful, to communicate love, to feel as if we have something to contribute. Underneath, without realizing it, we may also be asking for a greater sense of control in the face of senseless loss or be asking for reassurance. Do not burden another with this. As much as possible, avoid asking a person who has had a great loss to meet your needs. Turn to others for that.