But self-punishment never works. Love does. This is the harder, easier, more effective way to be the people we want to be. Ask yourself how Love itself would treat you right now. If that is too abstract, ask yourself how a spiritual or wise person you admire would treat you, how a beloved friend would treat you, or how you would treat a beloved friend. Then treat yourself that way.
Maybe right now you need rest, soothing words or actions, a connection with someone, or the chance to make an apology. Take actions that are kind to your future self, such as untangling a problem or taking the first steps toward a long term goal. Take these steps with gentleness, in a spirit of loving care. If this is difficult for you, be gentle about that, too. Most of us have not been trained in self-kindness, and it takes practice!