We are conditioned when we are very young to want to please our families and teachers; that’s part of the way little humans are designed to grow and absorb the cultural values. So we don’t have to beat ourselves up for that tendency. We can recognize it’s a strong, ingrained force and not take it as a sign of personal weakness. Instead, we recognize and maybe feel amused by it, hold it lightly, and to the degree we can, let it go, with affection and without judgment.