Those of us who feel deeply empathetic and responsible for others - or who define our worth by our ability to be capable and helpful - sometimes need to pull back a little on our "helping." Think about the kinds of support others have offered you: what has strengthened and sustained you and what has annoyed or undermined you? Respect that others can solve their own problems. Actively recognize others' strengths and capacities. Admit that you do not fully understand another's situation. Understand that support comes from many directions - you are not its only source. Recognize the people grow and change on their own timing and often on surprising trajectories. Humbly recognize your own need for help and accept it.
This, of course, does not mean that we are not generous and kind and present - only that we admit how much we don't know about what others need, we communicate respect for other's innate worth and capacity, and we watch that we are not serving others for our own ego-needs, asking them to give us what is not their responsibility to give.