Then we can feel thwarted by not having our usual outlets for contributing. We can spin in the habitual shame that we aren’t doing enough. We can overreact by inventing work to do that doesn’t need to be done or imposing help on others. We can then miss the sometimes small, but still important opportunities right in front of us. We underestimate what we contribute with our natural gifts, because they seem easy and ordinary to us. We forget that the people in our lives, not just strangers, need care, too. We forget that we can practice giving healthy, useful care by caring responsibly for ourselves.