Today, focus on accepting gifts. Most of us focus primarily on the actions we want to take, the ways we want to contribute, the responsibilities we think we must fulfill. Equally important is the other side of the coin, receiving with open-hearted gratitude all that is being given to us. Today, focus on accepting, with graciousness (not resistance because we think we don’t deserve it, because other people have needs, because we want to be the one giving) the many gifts being given to us: friendship, kindness, time, food, ideas, affection, fun, etc. Have a humble, appreciative, open-heartedness.
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Many of us, like a neurotic parent, think that we need to have a constant running commentary of the many ways we are not living up to standard to keep us on track. Sometimes our minds take short cuts and don’t communicate the worry and disapproval and suggestions for improvement in words, but in emotion, that can feel like agitation and discouragement combined, a heaviness that takes up a lot of space.
Today, give yourself a vacation for self-criticism. When thoughts or feelings arise about all the ways you need to improve or do something differently, remind yourself that you are taking a vacation. Just for today. Today you don’t need to be different than you are. Today, feel the steady, stable presence of Spirit, which brings us into steadiness and stability. Today, know that drama can be a distraction, a way of mesmerizing us, pulling us away from our useful work and natural joys. Don’t get hooked by drama in the news. Don’t get hooked by drama with your friends, family, and work. Don’t get hooked by drama in your own mind. Know that you are divinely supported in staying steady, sane, and in perspective, clear about your next steps.
This does not mean that we ignore injustice. It does mean we don’t let gossip, incomplete truths, escalating emotions, the addiction of outrage, the camaraderie of outrage dominate. Today, lower the drama. Today, simplify.
Maybe that means fitting less in your day or simplifying your steps or standards. Maybe that means having simple emotions - noticing your feelings, as they are, and not layering on judgments or shame or complicated analysis. Maybe that means choosing the simple solution. Maybe that means asking yourself this question I heard somewhere, “What would this look like if it were easy?” Today, know that you know what is wholesome, what is good for you and for others. You have a natural wisdom and awareness that is drawn toward healthy thinking and choices. Beware any argument that this is a complicated, confusing, or difficult process of discernment. Know that wholesome choices are clear and simple. Not always easy. But clear and simple.
James Hollis in his book Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life writes: “Sometimes the healing of the soul occurs naturally, instinctually, when we, or our environment, do not interfere with the process.”
Today, feel your soul healing. Problematic beliefs naturally bubble to the surface to be released. You are naturally drawn to what is healthy for you. You trust the process. You have a sense of ease. You don’t have to wrestle or fight, with yourself or others, to grow into health and fullness. Not every gift has to be earned through exertion of effort. Sometimes the effort is in letting go of planning and striving and worry. There is a power in us that impels our growth toward maturity. It is natural and inevitable. It leads us toward wisdom and integrity, our own freedom, and more effective service to the world. Today, appreciate, savor, and thank your unfolding maturity.
I often feel torn between my need to attend to my interior life and the desire to serve the larger community, especially now, when the needs of both seem great. I loved this image from Elizabeth Andrew in her book on writing memoir, Writing the Sacred Journey:
“When I worked in retreat ministry, we used to draw the infinity sign to illustrate a pattern in spiritual growth. When you lead a healthy spiritual life, the journey inward, represented by one loop, counterbalances the journey outward, represented by the second. The journey inward is silence, prayer, reflection, receptivity— what happens when we withdraw from society to attend to the still, small voice within. The journey outward is service, relationship, and community— our interaction with others and the environment. In reality the two journeys blur, but the image of the infinity sign’s balancing of internal and external work can help keep unhealthy tendencies in check. If teaching and volunteer work cram my every moment, I know it's time to step back. If meditation dominates my day to the detriment of relationships, I know it's time to step forward. The writing journey traces a similar path for a good while we move through an interior realm of memories and reflection; we withdraw from our busy lives to enhance our insights and craft stories. Then, at some point, the fruits of the process are too ripe to remain private. These fruits are twofold— the completed story and what has become of the self as the result of writing. Both press us to leave our safe confines for the dangerous, connective, and gift-giving realm of community.” Gil Fronsdal, from the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, suggested in his talk this morning that we take time to feel joy in our own goodness, our own virtue.
That made me think: we can get so caught in self-criticism, striving, or efforts for self-improvement, we can neglect to nurture, hold, and appreciate our own goodness that is already there. That place is the center of our power and effectiveness, the place where Love shines through. Spend time there. This is not self-centeredness, but true wisdom. Mary Baker Eddy in her book Science and Health uses the phrase “unlabored motion” to describe “divine energy.” Today, we can feel that unlabored motion moving through us. Like the power that calls plants and children to grow or pulls a wave to shore and rain to the ground, our activity, work, and growth does not need to require tiring effort, physically or mentally, to be fruitful.
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AuthorTarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com. Archives
September 2020
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