Today, know that it is not always hours of work that is required - but a clarity that reveals.
The last several days, I have been noticing that productivity, accomplishment, and positive change doesn't always require a great output of time, energy, and will. Sometimes, instead, it requires focus. A clear awareness of your values and priorities. Spirit illuminates, reveals, gives you understanding - and the steps from there are natural and less effortful.
Today, know that it is not always hours of work that is required - but a clarity that reveals.
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Yesterday, a friend told a story.
She had been going through a difficult break-up and several times had to leave meetings to cry. One of her colleagues, a therapist, said. "Be kind to yourself - and then double that." Today, imagine that you are your own dear friend. Give yourself that depth of love and appreciation and kindness. Recently, a friend of mind who has to work with challenging people shared her mantra, which she repeats silently to herself throughout the day, especially in difficult conversations.
I forgive you. You forgive me. I forgive myself. Hold this spirit with you today. When I woke up this morning, I thought about how recently I had been receiving the message, from so many different sources, that effective change can be made slowly. Micro-changes. Continuous, consistent, slow, kind effort.
When I was doing spiritual reflection this morning, I also heard that sometimes change doesn't come through effort at all - doesn't have to be approached like difficult project or a war - but comes through illumination. The dawning of new understanding. Today, trust slow movement and illumination. In our Western culture, we have learned to identify ourselves - the center of being and the essence of our identity - in our thoughts, which seem to be echoing around inside our brain and skull. In reality, our thoughts are just one small part of our being. Today, know that you are not the same as your thoughts. You are much bigger and wiser. Listen to other parts of your being.
Several days ago, I was listening to a discussion between Buddhist teacher Tara Brach and writer Elizabeth Gilbert.
Through some recently, challenging life experiences, Liz has come to believe there is a difference between mercy and forgiveness. Forgiveness, she explains, has a power differential - one person is better than the other person and bestows the gift of their forgiveness. Mercy comes from a place of equality. We are all flawed human beings in need of grace, in this journey together. We give mercy and accept mercy, from a place of humble non-judgement. (This does not mean we allow people to harm us in the name of mercy, she says. Sometimes we need to love and forgive from a safe distance.) A therapist friend of mine, who recently retired after decades of work, said she felt, by the end, that the heart of her work was giving people permission to be happy.
Today, you have permission to be happy. Even though others suffer, even though you suffer, even though there is much work to be done, you still have permission to be happy. We don't have to be unhappy to prove our solidarity or empathy. We don't have to be unhappy to make positive change. Those beliefs are myths, and ineffective ones. Certainly, you don't need to feel pressure to be happy, or to deny or repress your other feelings, but don't turn away happiness when it comes to you because you feel you don't deserve it or because it proves your loyalty to those who suffer. Today, accept happiness. I often feel as if I am a large, noisy, dysfunctional family, different parts of myself arguing for different desires and needs. The ruckus and negotiations confuse me, and the constant decision making can sometimes slow my movement through the day to a crawl, sometimes paralyzing me.
Today, I will ask to see myself as One. Love made me as One Whole. The different dimensions of myself are elements of the One, working together for health, goodness, freedom, innovation, peace, and love for self and others. From the article "Are You Buying It" by Jenny Sawyer:
“Wholeness is a deep-down, solid feeling of utter OK-ness. It means feeling complete, satisfied—with who we are and what we have. I love this passage from the Bible that, to me, encapsulates what wholeness is: 'I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it' (Ecclesiastes 3:14, New King James Version). 'Whole' isn’t something we eventually become through the right choices and purchases; whole is what we are. And as that Bible passage indicates, wholeness is God-derived. God-given. It doesn’t have to do with wearing the right clothes, eating “clean,” having a particular body type, or living your life a certain way. In other words, wholeness isn’t determined by external or physical factors; it’s actually the very essence, the bedrock, of our identity—our spiritual identity. This spiritual identity is innate in each of us. . . . So anything else about us—the things we don’t like about ourselves, like our faults, flaws, and limitations—isn’t the real deal. All that stuff is an incomplete or mistaken view of ourselves that drops away as we learn more about this God-sourced spiritual identity—more about our inherent, unchangeable wholeness." Clearing
Do not try to save the whole world or do anything grandiose. Instead, create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait there patiently, until the song that is your life falls into your own cupped hands and you recognize and greet it. Only then will you know how to give yourself to this world so worthy of rescue. Martha Postlewaite |
AuthorTarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com. Archives
September 2020
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