To me, one of the messages of this story is that no matter our level of human expertise, effort, or will (the disciples were hardworking, master fisherman), we are most effective when we recognize that Spirit is present, moving in us and through us, doing its work. Today, if you are running into obstacles or inefficiencies, don't work harder. Pause. Listen. Acknowledge the movement of Spirit.
In the Bible, after Jesus is killed, his grief-stricken disciples return to their work as fisherman. After a long night of fishing in which they catch nothing, they see a figure on the shore who calls out to them to "cast the net on the right side of the ship." They obey and their nets are filled to overflowing. When they return to the shore, Jesus is preparing a meal for them.
To me, one of the messages of this story is that no matter our level of human expertise, effort, or will (the disciples were hardworking, master fisherman), we are most effective when we recognize that Spirit is present, moving in us and through us, doing its work. Today, if you are running into obstacles or inefficiencies, don't work harder. Pause. Listen. Acknowledge the movement of Spirit.
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Today, Love/Spirit is your best friend, keeping you company all day, bringing a lightness and a joy to all your work, pointing out humor and beauty, attending to your emotions and struggles with kindness, present in the moment with you, rejoicing in the opportunity to be together.
Anne Lamott, in her book on creativity Bird by Bird, writes, "Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life . . . Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend." Today, notice where perfectionism may be making your life smaller.
African-American theologian and civil rights leader Howard Thurman says, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
In Buddhist teacher Tara Brach's most recent podcast about anger, she quotes an African tribe: "Vengeance is a lazy form of grief." Today, notice that under your anger is grief for some loss or potential loss. Before you take any action or speak any words or get caught in rumination or righteousness, notice your sadness or fear. Tend to those feelings with kindness and compassion. Then, you will be able to act with more wisdom.
From Elizabeth Gilbert's book on creativity Big Magic:
It makes me sad when I fail. It disappoints me. Disappointment can make me feel disgusted with myself, or surly toward others. By this point in my life, though, I've learned how to navigate my own disappointment without plummeting too far into death spirals of shame, rage, or inertia. That's because, by this point in my life, I've come to understand what part of me is suffering when I fail: It's just my ego . . . Your ego is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master - because the only thing your ego ever wants is reward, reward, and more reward. And since there's never enough reward to satisfy, your ego will always be disappointed. Left unmanaged, that kind of disappointment will rot you from the inside out. An unchecked ego is what the Buddhists call "a hungry ghost" - forever famished, eternally howling with need and greed. Some version of that hunger dwells within all of us. We all have that lunatic presence, living deep within our guts, that refused to ever be satisfied with anything. I have it, you have it, we all have it. My saving grace is this, though: I know that I am not only an ego; I am also a soul. And I know that my soul doesn't care a whit about reward or failure. My soul is not guided by dreams of praise or fears of criticism. My soul doesn't even have language for such nonsense. My soul, when I tend to it, is a far more expansive and fascinating sense of guidance than my ego will ever be, because my soul desires only one thing: wonder. In the last act of Thornton Wilder's play Our Town, the young woman Emily has died and her spirit goes back in time to an ordinary day with her family and sees for the first time its importance. She speaks this monologue:
"Oh, Mama, look at me one minute as though you really saw me. Mama, fourteen years have gone by. I'm dead. You're a grandmother, Mama! Wally's dead, too. His appendix burst on a camping trip to North Conway. We felt just terrible about it - don't you remember? But, just for a moment now we're all together. Mama, just for a moment we're happy. Let's really look at one another!...I can't. I can't go on. It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another. I didn't realize. So all that was going on and we never noticed. Take me back -- up the hill -- to my grave. But first: Wait! One more look. Good-bye , Good-bye world. Good-bye, Grover's Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking....and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every,every minute?" Today, really look at someone. Today, for a moment, realize how wonderful something is. Just one thing. Love does not mean worrying about other people. Love does not mean solving other people's problems for them. Love means, not fussing and fixing, but knowing others as held in Spirt, Love, Life itself, who is responsible for its own creation. First, tangibly feel the presence of Love in other's lives, surrounding them, caring for them, upholding them, revealing to them what they need to know. Let go of your own certain opinions about steps others should take. Take responsible care of yourself. Once you have done this, you may clearly see a wise and tangible step you can take in support of others - or you may see your only is job to love.
Love does not make you fragile and vulnerable. Instead, when you are deeply rooted in Love, you are grounded, steady in storms. This steadiness-in-Love makes you practical, realistic, clear-eyed, gentle, forgiving of yourself and others, gentle, with a clear and firm sense of yourself and your own worth.
Today, know that your identity is created and maintained by Love. You don't have to put out so much effort to prove who you are - just feel yourself at one with Love. Your identity cannot be harmed or altered by anyone else's actions or opinions.
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AuthorTarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com. Archives
September 2020
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