I have a history of feeling ashamed of my fears, criticizing myself for them, dismissing or ignoring them, or pushing through them with aggressive will - basically bludgeoning them. Although this approach can make it seem as if we have overcome our fears, they often just go underground to protect themselves. Sometimes, we do learn, through this aggressive approach, that we are more powerful than a fear, or can push through it, but then sometimes our fears just morph, get more subtle, limit us in more hidden ways.
Respecting and being kind to our fears does not mean we believe our fears' irrational thinking or accommodate their sometime convoluted solutions or self-justifications. It does not mean we freeze or retreat or defend.
It does mean we listen, as we would to a child who was scared. It means that we comfort. It means that we don't blame or judge. We are patient. We allow our fears to come out from hiding so we can see, not just the fear, but the fear under the fear. We hold with acceptance and kindness.
And we can do this for others, too.