Those “shoulds,” accompanied by a sense of shame and failure, actually don’t help us be our best selves. They seize up our minds and bodies. They stop us from listening to the true need of the moment, which might be different from our assumptions. Today, loosen the shoulds. Accept how much you don’t know. Send yourself an abundance of loving-kindness. Be extraordinarily patient with yourself.
The voice of self-criticism can seep in even when we are in shelter-in-place. The “shoulds” can be hard to catch because they often come in feelings and images rather than words. We should have cleaned out our closets by now. We should have called everyone we know to check on them. We should have a schedule, a meditation practice in place. We should have started a creative project. We should have found a way to meet those who may be suffering more than we are. We should not have difficult moods. If we are parents of school-aged children, we should have created for our children regular routine and a plethora of enriching activities and we should be infinitely patient.
Those “shoulds,” accompanied by a sense of shame and failure, actually don’t help us be our best selves. They seize up our minds and bodies. They stop us from listening to the true need of the moment, which might be different from our assumptions. Today, loosen the shoulds. Accept how much you don’t know. Send yourself an abundance of loving-kindness. Be extraordinarily patient with yourself.
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AuthorTarn Wilson is the author of the memoir The Slow Farm and numerous essays. You may read more of her work at tarnwilson.com. Archives
September 2020
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