One of them is "shoulds." We have a list of unwritten rules we apply to ourselves (or others) which creates unnecessary stress and judgments. The handout suggests, Instead of saying "should," say "Would't it be nice if . . . "
I have trouble catching my "shoulds" because they don't presents themselves in words, but in a feeling of falling short, being behind, not meeting a standard, or just feeling agitated. The phrase "Wouldn't it be nice if . . . " helped me catch some of the many wordless shoulds and frame them in a gentler way.
Wouldn't it be nice if I could keep up with my emails? Wouldn't it be nice if I washed my car more regularly, had more fashionable clothes, made healthier eating choices? Wouldn't it be nice if I had more balance in my life? Wouldn't it be nice if I could take away that person's suffering? Wouldn't it be nice if I always knew the right thing to say to a struggling student? Wouldn't it be nice if I were an expert in my field?
Today, catch some of your "shoulds" and replace with "Wouldn't it be nice . . . " Know that Love helps you to do this. Know that your "shoulds" are not actually helping you achieve your goals, but creating tightness and sucking your energy. More lightness will actually give you more freedom to make adjustments, without the weight of unnecessary shame.